week #11 free

Morning

Savoring moments before I leave.

I open my eyes, staring at you.

Making sure that you inhale and exhale

The air you need to survive.

Oh how I could beat the hell out of time.

How dare it cause me to leave your side.

The torture of the day awaits me,

As I daydream of last nights encounters

I try to slip out of the puzzle we have created.

Amazed by the masterpiece of our bodies.

What a sight. My leg underneath yours,

Your arms over lapping mines.

Finally I break free from this heavenly prison.

But just as I think I’m free from capture.

You grab my hand and ask me where I’m going.

I kiss you on the forehead and reply,

“The day awaits me my love”

This was my Aubade poem. Im thinking about if I want to put this in my portfolio book. But I was looking for suggestions about how I could make this better. We didn't get to workshop this poem. so appreciate the comments. Thanks

week #10 critical #3

Erasing Amyloo

A father with a huge eraser erases his daughter. When he  finishes there's only a red smudge on the wall.   His wife says, where is Amyloo?   She's a mistake, I erased her.   What about all her lovely things? asks his wife.   I'll erase them too.   All her pretty clothes? . . .   I'll erase her closet, her dresser--shut up about Amyloo!  Bring your head over here and I'll erase Amyloo out of it.   The husband rubs his eraser on his wife's forehead, and as  she begins to forget she says, hummm, I wonder whatever  happened to Amyloo? . . .   Never heard of her, says her husband.   And you, she says, who are you? You're not Amyloo, are  you? I don't remember your being Amyloo. Are you my  Amyloo, whom I don't remember anymore? . . .   Of course not, Amyloo was a girl. Do I look like a girl? . . . I don't know, I don't know what anything looks like  anymore. . . 

      Russel Edson

I like reading this prose poem and when we read it in class it really made sense to me. 

A lot of times people wish they could pick and choose parts in there life that they want to remember. 

But as the poem demonstrates we can never complete forget anything.I t will always be a part of our lives.

I also think about how some things wouldn't be the same  if they were erased. Like If my mom 

and dad never met, there would be no me. I also feel like another there could be another meaning to the poem. It reminds me of

 the government, and how they all try to cover up there mistakes as if they never happen. But this poems

shows that no matter how hard you try it will never be forgotten.

I feel that prose poems are short and sweet and give you something

to think about. Maybe that is what makes them so poetic.

week 10 free #2

I was looking at some videos for our upcoming project and these are two videos of poetry that caught my attention. These videos are taken from def poetry Jam. This form of poetry is where Hip Hop stems from. Now hip hop has turned into rapping. The difference being, rap artist dont talk about anything in depth. Hip Hop is slowly dying. Anyway I hope you enjoy the video.

week 10 critical #1

In class this week I learned how people can interpret poems in their own ways. I was the guardian for Cydney. After reading her poem I automatically thought it was a metaphor for a 3G phone and a man. This was so cool because I like how she linked the characteristics of a I phone to the characteristics you experience in a relationship. But the meaning I got from her poem was slightly different form what she wrote about. She was writing her poem in relation to I pod. Knowing this made her poem make more sense in certain places. For instance when she says "you make me think releasing me from the world around me" That doesn't connect to a phone, but it makes sense with a I pod. Class got even more interesting when one of my classmates spoke about what she thought the poem was about. She thought it was a "woman's toy" LOL I thought that was completely hilarious. The whole class re read the poem and at that moment we agreed that it could represent a "woman's toy". It actually fit better that way. I guess that is why workshops are so important. The title of a poem is important. The title can change the complete meaning of the poem. I will love to see the revision of the this poem.

Week 9 critical #3

I focused more so in found poems but I didn't really think about listing poems. I wanted to learn more about them so started to see if I could find some examples. While researching I found a website that allowed you to create a listing poem just by filling in the boxes. It was kind of fun, you just randomly writing stuff in the blanks and seeing how it would play out in the end. Here is the results of my poem

What’s in the pockets of my old coat
Half eaten piece bubble gum
Fat peace a of lent...
10 dollar bill my dad gave me for the store
two rusted pennies
ticket stubs from the movies
A rolled up piece of snot tissue
lip gloss that has no more luster
and a old note from and ex boyfriend

It was pretty cool. But of course I would like to work on making the poem more complex. Listing poems are not just random sentences put together but they have a purpose and work together for a greater meaning. These are some others poems I looked that were listing poems. According to "The excerpt from conversations with a Poet" List poems contain, repetition, it doesn't matter if it contains rhyming or not, and the ending is and strong and funny.

The are some other examples of listing poems

This morning I got up
on the wrong side of the bed
turned the shower water too hot
and scalded my head
mom yelled at me
dad ignored me
my puppy bit me
big brother hit me
could not find the lotion
nor the shampoo
wish I could go back to bed
...........and snooze.

Also

I went to the store
to pick up some bread
when I arrived
I got rolls instead
strolled through the veggies
and picked up fruits
got custard pudding
and brunswick stew
hit the dairy and
went for the eggs
then felt a pain in my legs
the load was heavy
and boy, was I sluggy
do you know why?
did not get a buggy.

I got these examples from Aspirennies.com

Sites I visited

http://www.rcowen.com/PDFs/Franco%20Ch%2020%20for%20web.pdf

http://www.aspirennies.com/private/SiteBody/Romance/Poetry/Styles/poemStyle11.shtml

http://www.aspirennies.com/private/SiteBody/Romance/Poetry/Styles/poemStyle11.shtml

To write you own listing poem http://ettcweb.lr.k12.nj.us/forms/listpoem.htm

week #9 free #2

Poetry best when come from real life experiences. I have a great inspiration for my next found poem. This weekend I lost my keys. That is the worse feeling in the world. Especially when you don't know who may have picked them up. Your keys are like life to you. It has access to your car, house, your mama's house, your mail box. So when you lose them its understandable that you go into panic mood. Eventually I found them (YEA!) and now life is back to normal. There is a sigh of relief. I feel this will make a great found poem, there are so many metaphors that you can use for keys. I feel like we all have lost ours keys once in our lives. So this poem can relate to anybody. I still have to sit down and explore what really want to say, but if I write this poem right it can really be a good one. I can't wait to play around with and introduce it to the class!

Week #9 critical 1

• This was my found poem that I wrote in class.

I wrote it based on a facebook chat me and friend had

8:21am

Terence

?

first 
how did the paegent go?

8:22am

Rita

great! I won!

I wish you can have been there !

8:22am

Terence

i knew you would!!
sweet

congrats!!

i wish i could have too

8:22am

Rita

thanks!

8:22am

Terence

maybe when u win next year too i'll be there

lol

so what is this project?

8:23am

Rita

No.... i can only do it once

and Idk... I gotta keep the ball rolling now uuh

I guess i need to go ahead and write a movie

8:27am

Terence

yup

i'll help

u just gotta take the first step

8:28am

Rita

what that

So from this I wrote a poem called c=Conversation with God. The encouragement my friend gave me in this chat sounded like something God would say to me. I just changed some sentences around to fit better.

Conversation with God

So you won! I just wanted to say congrats sweetie!

Thanks! I wish you could have see me.

Now you know I didn't miss it. And when you win next year I'll be there too.

No.... I can only do it once.

Says who, don't you know I will make a winner over many things.

Well I guess I have to keep the ball rolling now huh?

Yup, so what is your next project,

Idk, I guess ill write the rest of my life story

Ill help you just have to take the next step.

And what is that....?